🏆Before You Get Back on the Horse...
It's the millisecond after a mistake that matters
When I played lacrosse in college, our team (and entire athletic department) had a sports psychologist who visited the locker room frequently to take our mental pulse.
Group therapy.
One of those sessions stuck with me all these years and it goes like this:
What's your recovery time?
She didn't mean how long the lung-burning pause was between one set of puke-inducing sprints and another.
She meant, "When you drop the ball and your opponent swoops it up, runs down the field and scores against you -- what's your recovery time?"
Don't check out on me here if you're not into sports.
How do we react when injustices and accidental errors visit themselves upon us — sometimes by our own hand?
When you make a mistake or you're on the receiving end of something unpleasant, undeserved AND -- to add insult to injury -- someone capitalizes on it at your expense... what's your recovery time?
Do you roll around on the field, slamming your fists into the turf, waving your arms at the ref with indignation- "Why? Where's my call? Where's my justice?!"
Does your inner infant take over by throwing a stick? A glove? Breaking a club? Kicking a Gatorade cooler? Swearing and scene-making?
Do you berate yourself verbally and blame yourself worse than any abuse you'd allow someone to hurl at your best friend?
All of the above takes up critical, unrecoverable time.
And that gap of time between the misfortune and you getting past it in that millisecond moment is your recovery time.
For most of us in the heat of the moment, it’s a wasted opportunity.
It's time we could've used to come to, catch our opponent, maybe get the ball back, or at least prevent more damage.
It's time that gives us a second chance to reverse outcomes, mitigate damage and change the narrative.
How long do we wallow about something NO ONE can change before we move into acceptance and make a conscious choice to create chicken salad out of chicken shit?
As Adam Grant writes, “Thin skins equal thick skulls.”
What is your recovery time?
The shorter you can make this time-gap between an undesired event and taking right action, the faster you can tilt the outcome back to your favor.
Accepting something does NOT mean you like it or that it was okay or deserved.
I'm not telling you to eat Southern-fried feces with a smile.
There is a time and a place to vent frustrations, rage about wrongs, exact justice, and organize against repeat performances.
But when caught off guard, a long recovery time while hijacked by unhelpful emotions is a luxury you cannot afford if you truly care about the big picture.
We’ve got to practice letting go and getting after what's important in the split second we still have agency to mitigate or reverse damage.
The next time you see a scenario going south, whether it's during competition or any high stakes event --- observe peoples’ recovery time.
Do they immediately go to acceptance and into recovery?
Or do they waste invaluable time and energy whining about how they were done wrong?
Watch who screams at the ref and loses time off the clock vs. those who immediately get back into the game.
Easier said than done when all our buttons get pushed like the floors on a high rise elevator, I know, fren.
But the lesson about recovery time has come in handy all these years. Especially recently.
Just brain fodder for the Friday, frens! I hope you have a fantabulous, rejuvenating weekend. Thanks for reading and spending time with me.
Your pal,
Michelle
Before I forget!
If you’re in need of unique gift ideas, check out “7 Superlative Gift Ideas You’ll Want for Yourself”.
And, for the coffee addicts in your life…
Provision Coffee Roasters created an exclusive 10% discount code for Deep Kimchi frens:
KIMCHI10 (expires 12/31/23)
Good for 10% off any purchase; or
10% off your first subscription
I have no affiliation with Provision Coffee and receive no compensation.
I’m just particular about ma’ joe and know a lot of you are, too!
Provision rings all my bells when it comes to proper roasting and sourcing.
Maybe it will deck your halls, too! Or, stuff the stocking of someone equally as discerning about their beans.
Don’t forget to use code KIMCHI10 at checkout.
I am getting better at my recovery time. Not hours weeks and possibly even months.
Boy it takes practice and Personal insight to “notice” the reaction and pivot. I have zero fast twitch fibers so takes me longer to recalibrate lol